I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
