If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
