i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You ruined the universe
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
