This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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