I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
