Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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