Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
