why didn't you poke me back
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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