You really coming over, don't trick.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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