Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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