You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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