Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
