if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dick very happy bro
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
