I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
