so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
