you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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