I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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