Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
