I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
