North Korea, Best Korea!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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