It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
