y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
