the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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