I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
