she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
