You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
