i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
