Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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