So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
