My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
