I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
