I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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