Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I met the friendliest cop last night
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
