i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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