i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
nutella sex= disaster
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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