it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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