You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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