Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
