gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
