just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
