It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
