I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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