The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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