If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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