woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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