This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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