I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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