In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
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