I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We're too hungover to prance.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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