an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You can't just leave with hair like that
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
